Thursday, June 14, 2007

Tantrums & the Teddy Bear Triptych



It was "hands-in-head" embarrassment time yesterday, for my child-free friend in the least. We met up in Bury St Edmunds' peaceful Abbey Gardens...me with my toddler (and his bear), her with a six-month bump.

There she was relaxed in that prenatal state that makes so many women bountifully happy...the next thing, she found herself being persecuted by the screams and yells of a (soon-to-be) three year old being restrained from the freedom to run loose with his ice-cream.

Yes that was my youngest offspring and you can sense my frustrations I am sure. Many observers, who were having a quiet time, sitting with ice-creams, enjoying the sunshine, had already witnessed him manifesting his desire for independence, several times over. For some it was entertaining and for others it revealed the "apparent truths" of 21st century parenting, the lack of control that many of us seem to experience for one reason or other.

However, the hidden parental control was actually there, like a submarine rising in the sea and getting ready to surface...with... a good old-fashioned pair of reins.

On went the reins and "phew"...no more toddler hassle until...

...the next stage of his battle plan...where in defiance he started spitting his ice-cream and deliberately letting it dribble down his chin!

...oh why me..why now...

...with all eyes on me, it felt like it was down to me to deliver that oscar winning performance that re-affirms everyone's confidence in parents of today!

So for those who needed that, let me gracefully take a bow, as I released said ice-cream from my toddler's hands and dropped it into the bin, in an attempt to live up to my threats. For those who didn't give a monkeys, please let me apologise for the ear-belting screams that followed as we exited the Abbey Gardens...so sorry for breaking up the peace.

And for my pregnant friend, don't worry, it's not always like this...and if it is... you get used to the embarrassment (eventually) ;-)

Oh...and forgot to mention the bear...yes the photos of the "Bear in the Air", were taken as a form of distraction from another tantrum only 30 minutes earlier. As with many parents, I will confidently blame it on tiredness. Within minutes of cycling towards home, he fell fast asleep in his bike seat. Ahhh...peace at last!

7 Comments:

Anonymous said...

All children have these temper tantrums at some stage in their childhood....better to have them while they are 2 or 3 when other people accept them as terrible 2's & 3's, rather than when they are at school age and just look like a bratty child. Good for you for following through with your threat it can be very hard knowing what type of response you will get, but I am sure that he will remember next time he is playing up that YOU followed through - Shame more parents don't, it only comes back to bit them in the bum when the child is a teenager and does not listen or respect what the parent is saying.... Seriously, you deserve a medal for parenting!!!

grumpyoldwoman said...

My oldest son once threw a wobbly at the check-out because he wanted a box of maltesers instead of a packet - he ended up with neither and was picked up by his father, tucked under his arm (he was a rigid as a plank of wood) and deposited outside the glass doors where we could continue to see but not hear the blood-curdling screams. The next time we went shopping he politely thanked us for a packet of Maltesers - result.

Well done you Mum - top marks.

Ruby in Bury said...

Hee hee Grumps, I remember the "rigid as a plank of wood" bit. That was Erik when he was 3 and I used to put his reins on him in Sainsbury's.

No-reins meant he ran around like a mad thing taking things off shelves and generally causing chaos. Reins on and he lay on the floor like a plank, refusing to move. I ended up dragging him along with the reins.

My daughter at that age used to have awful tantrums and as I would try and lead her out of the "embarrassment zone" by her hand, she would be yelling "AAAAAAAARGH! YOU'RE HURTING MY HAND"

I don't think I ever handled it very well, glad that's all over now!!!!

21st Century Mummy said...

Thanks everyone. Isn't it great that I'm not the only one and I think it is brilliant that we have the internet and blogging facilities to help each other remain sane.

I'm currently researching for a book, which I am hoping to get underway and have come across a book which provides a fascinating insight into mothers helped each other through a private magazine (this was over 70 years ago). Here's a quick overview taken from the publishers site. I've included a link at the bottom if you want to know more...

"...The Cooperative Correspondence Club - or CCC as it quickly became known - was to be a bi-monthly publication made up of articles written by the members on subjects close to their heart: the pain and elation of childbirth, difficulties during wartime, the struggles of daily life. None of the women could have anticipated the way that the magazine would come to play such an important part in their lives, offering them both the chance to forget about being a mother and a wife and also giving them a place to express themselves through the best and worst of times. Deep friendships were formed and continued until age and ill-health brought the magazine to an end in 1990, fifty-five years after the first issue was put together."

http://www.faber.co.uk/book_detail.html?bid=38897&clid=3

Ruby in Bury said...

Sounds like a blog doesn't it? That's brilliant. Interactivity in a publication, long before the iternet!

Tina said...

Hi there...

I love your post - I'm not a mother, I'm standing back from a distance, watching, learning, wondering - do I really want to go down that road? Mind you if wonder for much longer - I'll be too old :-)... Anyway - certainly being aware of a blog like this and knowing that there would be some support out there - could make such a decision easier to bear..

I love your writing by the way - I almost felt as though I was there, and it made me laugh too... I wish you all the success with your book research - and look forward to everything that comes from you in the publishing world.. :-)

21st Century Mummy said...

Hi Tina ~ thanks for the compliments and for popping over to say hello. This road is great you know, but beprepared to negotiate like you never have before ;-)