Eurodiversion

Having been a closet fan of the Eurovision Song Contest since the 1970s I was looking forward to this year's spectacular from Helsinki. Eurovision has always been in my life. In the 70s and 80s I used to sit and watch it drinking Dandelion & Burdock with my Nan (who often sat with her coat and hat on - I still don't know why). Then in the late '80s we used to have kitsch student parties and Eurovision was always an excuse to drink lots of beer and cheap plonk. Now, it's a bit of a pipe & slippers night in with an expensive bottle of wine, cuddled up to my Beloved, whilst enjoying the familar commentary of Terry Wogan.

However, Beloved dropped into conversation last week that he was off out ~ what on Eurovision night! That meant no-one to rejoice with (what I'd rejoice I don't know), but the only benefit of staying in to watch Eurovision is to watch it with someone else! There's no point in watching cheese if you're on your own!

Happily, my good friend (let's call her Ada) was in the same pickle. Her husband (err...Ralph sounds like a good name) was off visiting family so she too was home alone. So with one invitation to Barrow to share the Eurovision experience (with kids in tow), off I went leaving Beloved to a guilt-free night out!

A bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape later and an evening of gossip, I remember seeing UK's entry Scooch and I have a vague memory that they were only outdone in the costume department by the Ukrainian entry, whose lead singer resembled a cross between Elton John and Christopher Biggins. And the winners...Serbia, oh well. I'd like to say maybe next time eh for the UK but I don't think so...well not unless we have a cunning plan!

Perhaps the UK organisers (and our voting public) should realise that we need to move away from Euro-pop gimmicky performances. It hasn't worked since Bucks Fizz. More than that we need to break into the tactical voting system.

Maybe we should spread our options...take advantage of our political map and fight for separate entries from England Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland (isn't this what happened to the former USSR countries). Okay, the Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish would probably not vote for the English entry, but it could set the cat amongst the pigeons and enable a representative corner of the UK to gain pole position!

However, forget the winning. As long as Terry Wogan is still around to help us through the night. That's all that matters.